Discarding Rules

In the prologue to my memoir, Tree Lines, I wrote: “I followed all the rules. Even rules that didn’t exist. My table manners were impeccable. I never interrupted, never contradicted authority. I waited my turn, I folded my hands. I did my homework and chores. I went to church, babysat, got summer jobs. I was so bland I practically disappeared."

I got over all of that… or most of that.

I also got over the ‘truths’ that were proclaimed by my parents and their white American middle-class culture. I now know that -- women, African Americans, Latinos, Muslims, homosexuals, transgender people, Asians, the homeless and indeed any non-white/non-middleclass humans are not inherently evil, inferior or dangerous.

There are other ‘rules’ that I now disregard:

"A couple should be married before engaging in sexual intercourse."  That was one of the first ones to go.

"Marriage is the only form of committed relationship." Baloney.

"Only married couples should have children." Really??? My son and his very significant other – who are deeply committed to each other -- just had the most beautiful little boy (my very first grandchild). And they are both deeply committed to taking care of the little guy and doing whatever it takes to prepare him for our very scary world.

 

And I couldn’t be prouder of them all.

Who knows what rules I will next discard? Stay tuned.